Last three weeks have been pure magic. I am running on adrenaline, sugar highs, copious amounts of coffee and rosé. Both Kiki and I celebrated our birthdays and Mother’s Day over and over, and if it was up to us, we would both continue with celebrations. I guess an apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
One of my biggest fears when I became a single mom is how does one celebrate occasions like Mother’s Day without feelings of loss, emptiness, awkwardness, sadness, and anger… I was worried not so much for me, but for Kiki and how she would feel with a surmounting pressure to do something special for her mom without anyone’s help. There is this expectation and facade that somehow every mother should be waited on hand and foot and taken to an amazing brunch, gifted lavish gifts and flower arrangements. Mother’s Day has a way of making single moms feel quite alone, kind of like Valentine’s Day can remind single people how single they are.
No one teaches you how to be a single mom and how to celebrate these holidays, but somehow I was given a set of fairy godmothers and a thoughtful ex who made sure I felt loved, cherished and celebrated. I am thankful that my daughter is growing up surrounded by positive role models of strong, fearless, kind, thoughtful, loving women and a father, who shows respect and thoughtfulness to her mom despite our divorce.
This Mother’s Day, Kiki and I were in NYC [Kiki’s only birthday wish] with two of my best friends whom I call my fairy godmothers and on Sunday morning I woke up to my favorite Starbucks breakfast in bed with a pink flower and a card. All the while there was a beautifully decorated Mother’s Day cake waiting for me at home. Kiki’s dad arranged for Kiki to decorate a cake at school along with multitude of cards with scribbles “I love you mama! You’re the best mama ever!” The thoughtfulness of these gifts – the planning and the effort and the surprise – moved me to tears and somehow made for a difficult day to be truly a day of love and cherishment. The best part – how excited Kiki was to do all these things for me with a little help of her fairy godmothers! The glimmer of happiness in her eyes was the best gift a mother could receive on Mother’s Day!
When they say “it takes a village”…it truly does, because I don’t know how I would navigate this crazy life of single motherhood without my village.
To all the single parents out there, know that you are always loved and cherished by the little people that made us parents and my only hope for each and everyone one of you is to have your village!